My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
~Psalm 73:26

He is also a God who provides.

On May 4, I was as the psalmist in Psalm 73, and I had nearly lost my foothold. We had $22 to pay our $200 rent, multiple bills, and survive for the next three weeks. I had gotten two jobs, lost them both with little to no explanation, hadn’t yet been paid for over a month’s worth of writing, and didn’t know what to do. I applied at Starbucks so as to ensure that I wasn’t shirking my duty as a man, but it didn’t matter in the slightest. I still wasn’t able to even buy us food, much less keep a roof over our heads or pay our bills. I felt helpless and weak, a failure as a husband and provider.

Rachel was working at The Body Shop by this time and we hoped that Rachel would get paid on May 13, but her manager missed the deadline to complete her paperwork, and no paycheck would be forthcoming until May 27.

We were helpless, we had no money and no viable way to get any in time to pay rent or even eat.

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
~Psalm 18:2

So just when we were on the brink of despair I received a phone call from someone who wanted to pay our rent. They asked us for the link to make a payment and told us they would take care of it. Five minutes later, someone I haven’t spoken with in nearly a year messaged me and asked how she could help. God had been prompting her, she said, and she really wanted to help us out.

Her check came on Saturday. All $250 of it.

With rent and food down, we were overjoyed and praising God. What an amazing thing to be completely without recourse when a path opens up out of the blue!

To top things off, a person anonymous even to us sent us more money on Sunday. Rachel and I were floored, especially considering that by this time we had less than two dollars spread over our four bank accounts. $450 dollars in total, the money is enough to pay all our bills and buy the food we need!

God is enough.

The most humbling part of it all is that we didn’t do anything at all to deserve it or earn it. God saved us freely, and loves us freely because of His love for us, not because we merit that love. And just as God loves us, He wants us to love Him as well. It is for this reason that Christ died for our sins, and it for this reason that He provides for our needs. Christ is clear that “no one can serve two masters,” and that we’re to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. Because of this, He promises that the Father will provide for our needs each day.

It’s as simple as that.

It’s a joyful thing that through suffering we’re learning steadfastness, it’s a joyful thing that Rachel and I have been forced in every way to depend on Him. So often we depend on God as our last and feeblest resource, but the truth is that He is the only one we can truly depend on.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
~Ephesians 3:14-21

We wanted to depend on God, and we thought we were, but we were really just trying to bend Him to our will, leaning on our own understanding.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
~Proverbs 3:5-6

It’s a little painful to realize these things, and certainly humbling. It’s hard to admit that we were prideful, but we were. Not in believing that God would provide, because even now he’s given us everything we need (enough here, enough there, and each day we have just as much as we need for the day at hand), but in expecting Him to do so on our terms and refusing the help many offered.

What we have not yet been given is money for our bills, and although I don’t know how, I firmly believe that He will provide. That being said, I feel like I should do something, like I should get out and provide for my family. And yet at every turn my efforts are stopped: the first job I got disappeared, I still haven’t seen any money from my blogging efforts, and my second web design job (which was all but in the bag) fell through with little to no warning. I have an interview at Starbucks tomorrow, but even if I wow the manager, it won’t pay the bills that are due. Rachel starts at the Body Shop as well, but she doesn’t get paid until the 20th at best. I feel so helpless, so out of control. I feel so pointless and needy, like a little child.

It’s really, super-duper humbling. Humiliating even. I’ve tried to freelance write more and negotiate for the second design job and wrangle our money to finagle at least our rent out of it. I’ve tried to fix the situation by myself, but no matter what I do something goes wrong. I’m at the end of my rope now, and I don’t have any tricks left. My weak, frail, limited, earthly resources are spent.

It’s up to God to deliver us now in all His might, because I’m not able. God is good and merciful and all powerful and forever loving. He is our provider and our shelter in time of need. He is our rock and our foundation. In Him we will put our trust, for who is there that is more glorious than our God? To Him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen.

Come, behold the works of the LORD,
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
The LORD of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah
~Psalm 46:8-10

And that’s enough. Because God himself is enough.

Rachel and I left for Portland solely because the Holy Spirit laid it upon our hearts to go, and He is the one who provided us with the resources we needed to do so. As everyone who knows us can attest, Rachel and I returned to the United States with a little more than $300, no phone, no mode of transportation, and no place to live. Less than two weeks after we arrived, that $300 had shrunk to $17 dollars.

In China, we had desperately wanted to reconnect with those we hadn’t seen in months, and weren’t sure what to do, so we prayed that God would provide for our needs and give us time to spend with our friends, whom we had missed dearly. He did just that. We went to Bowling Green to visit our brothers and sisters in Christ, and our family there fed us, housed us, loved us in spite of our humiliation.

We had nothing to offer, and they took us in.

We spent nearly two months in Bowling Green, and during that time were able to connect with an amazing group of people, including not only our old friends, but many new ones as well. Knowing that we wouldn’t be staying, we were reluctant to job hunt for and work official jobs, but in spite of this came oppurtunities we had never expected to earn money and provide for our needs, so that we could avoid as much as possible burdening those who were showing us kindness. We were truly blessed during our stay, not only with gas, shelter, transportation, clothing, food, and even coffee, but with money to pay our bills and prepare for Portland. Many people showed us great love while we were home, so many people stood by us in friendship and fellowship, and we were encouraged to be among them. We enjoyed it so much, that when the time arrived to move on, we were much aggrieved, and wanted only to find a cheap apartment in Bowling Green and settle down. Unfortunately for our fleshly desires, our Lord savior Jesus Christ does not command us to get jobs, settle down somewhere nice, and live a comfortable little American life with our friends and family nearby. In fact, the command that the Lord of all has given is quite to the contrary. Neither is this command reserved for those who “feel the call” to go and evangelize. It is a command He gives to each and every Christian, and we have never been an exception.

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
~Matthew 28:18-20

As time passed in Bowling Green, we weren’t sure when we would be leaving for Portland, so we simply made preparations to go: calling apartments, following up a promising job lead, and finding work that could be done from anywhere. Then, out of nowhere, our plane tickets were paid and we were flying to Portland. We were terrified of dropping ourselves in a city without any stone-cold assurances of jobs or living arrangements, but trusting that our Father would once again provide for us.

I am grieved to report that it is here where we stumbled.

Although we were sure of the call to go, we weren’t sure exactly how things would look, and in our pride we took it upon ourselves to “fill in the blanks.” We know from the scriptures that God provides for His children, so in our pride we assumed that upon our arrival He would simply drop an apartment and a couple of jobs into our laps and we’d continue about our merry way unscathed and without any problems at all. “God, please be glorified through this situation” we prayed, while in our hearts we simply wanted Him to blast and glorify us so that we wouldn’t have to suffer.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
~1 Peter 4:12

For although all Christians are assured of God’s provision, we are never once assured that we will not suffer. On the contrary, we are assured that we will. Not even Jesus, the only man in history to lead a sinless life, was spared from suffering. Neither are Christians promised cushy apartments, high-paying jobs, expensive computers, huge televisions, or lots of money that will allow us to lead comfortable lives and avoid the suffering that we fear so greatly. Even Job, a man blameless before God, did not escape from suffering but was allowed to be stripped of everything he had, and Paul the apostle “boasted” of his sufferings for Christ, saying:

Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure.
~2 Corinthians 11:24-27

Rachel and I sinned by taking the leading of the Holy Spirit and running with it. Instead of taking it back to our loving Father and asking what we would do, we instead filled a simple command with all of our own thoughts and selfish desires and expectations. We had decided how it would be and we were “trusting” that things would be fine. The only problem was that we weren’t really trusting at all, we were simply expecting the Creator of the universe to bend to our master plan and “take care of us.”

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.
~Isaiah 55:8

And take care of us he did, but not in the way we wanted. Not once since Rachel and I left for China have we gone with food or a roof over our heads. Not when we were leaving China, not when we were “homeless,” not when we had only $17, not when we could no longer afford to pay the nightly rent at Lo’s apartment, not when we had only $10 to span two bank accounts. But that wasn’t good enough for us, and when our attempts to jump right into an apartment and avoid suffering failed, we became confused and angry and bitter. We were angry at God, and wondered why He wasn’t providing for us, when the whole time He was providing, just not how we has expected Him to do so.

Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because whoever suffers in the body is done with sin. As a result, they do not live the rest of their earthly lives for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry.
~1 Peter 4:1-3

God uses suffering to perfect us, teach us, and discipline us, but he never stops loving us. Even more assuring is the fact that he will never leave us or forsake us.

While God’s love is real and true and He is faithful to provide, many people understand God’s provision as a synonym for prosperity. This it is not, and it is idolatry for us to believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross so that we could all have easy lives and nice houses. Just ask John Piper:

After 24 days and a suffering experience that was marginal compared to being lashed with cables daily or even being shipwrecked, God granted Rachel and I an apartment. He has continued to provide for us, and although we have bills we are unsure how we will pay looming ahead of, we have repented of our agendas and unwitting belief in Christ as a source of prosperity.

God is enough. No matter what happens, though we be cast on the street or imprisoned, or cursed, or humiliated for the name of Christ, God is enough. It is not glorifying to God for anyone to say this while one has much, and to despair when things get hard. Paul said that he had learned to be content with much and with little. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him in the midst of loss.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
~Psalm 73:25

God is enough.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
~1 Peter 4:12-13

The first weekend went by, and I found a job. A small cafe near downtown Portland was hiring, and hired me as soon as I turned in my resume. The hiring manager had walked in the door right behind me, and proceeded to interview me on the spot, informing me that she’d e-mail me and that the position would start that week. Excited, I reported the good news to Rachel and Lo, and we continued about our day. Things would be fine, we thought, we’d just get a letter from the cafe and move right in to “our” apartment without a hitch.

As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” Jesus replied, ”Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”
~Luke 9:57-58

By Thursday, the owner of the house in which we were staying had tired of our presence, and informed us via text message that she’d had “a bad day” and would normally just kick us out, but that we could stay through Sunday or Monday if we paid her a portion of our would-be hotel costs. We didn’t have any other options, so we agreed to pay.

Finally, after two days of waiting for some sort of communication from the  cafe, I got antsy and called to follow up on my actual start date. Even more troubling was the fact that the girl I talked to when I called didn’t remember me at all, and did nothing more than take my name and number. We waited the weekend, and still nothing, so on Monday morning Rachel and I went in to inquire what had happened to the job I was promised. Again the staff didn’t remember me, and again they took my name and number. To this day we don’t know what happened, but the cafe never did hire anyone, and the position seems to have simply dropped out of existence just after they hired me to fill it. Encouragingly, The Body Shop called and asked Rachel to come in for an interview on Tuesday afternoon.

On Tuesday our two week hold on the apartment had expired, and the apartment complex called to inform us of this fact. They needed a letter, they said, and if we couldn’t provide one, they could no longer hold the apartment. Discouraged, we set out to personally plead for an extension. Rachel had a second interview for The Body Shop on Thursday night, and it would just be a few more days until we could provide a letter. Graciously, the apartment complex agreed to extend our hold until Friday, and even to extend the free first month’s rent, without which we could no longer afford to rent any apartment, much less one costing $735 per month. Unfortunately, the house owner had decided that our nightly rent should be upped to $15 per night to help with bills.

We were a little worried about the costliness of this, but we didn’t have many options, so we again agreed to pay. Our money at this point had dropped to uncomfortable levels, and we starting to freak out.

Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass he will pass away.
~James 1:9-10

Wednesday passed without much incident, and Thursday met us with a call from Ryan, the manager of the Starbucks at which our friend Lo currently works. He wanted Rachel to come in for an interview next Monday, and informed her that it would “be a good day for her.” A few days later, another Starbucks called requesting an interview. Neither of these calls provided an immediate job offer letter, but both were encouraging nonetheless. That evening, Rachel had her second interview at a downtown branch of The Body Shop. She got along well with the manager there, but learned that no final decision could yet be made. Thus no letter offering either of us employment was yet to be had, in spite of the fact that our extended deadline was rapidly approaching. On Friday, we were beside ourselves with frustration, and trudged into the Reflections office to ask yet again for more time to provide a letter. Once again, the Reflections staff was surprisingly gracious, and gave us until the following Wednesday to provide some sort of documentation.

A third weekend passed without seeing us in an apartment of our own; living in the same room as our friend and with the hostility of the house owner was starting to take its toll on all our nerves.

Much to our relief, Rachel interviewed at Starbucks on Monday, with a promise that she’d have a decision by Thursday at the latest. Still no letter, but at least things were moving forward. Due to the success of this interview, the manager of the second Starbucks called and cancelled the interview scheduled for Tuesday. “I already knew that you were hired,” he said later that week. “I just had to keep it a secret from you.” On Wednesday, Rachel went into The Body Shop to meet the district manager, and they scheduled a phone interview for the following Tuesday. Still no letter, but progress nonetheless. At this point we were disappointed, frustrated and more than a little discouraged, but hanging in there as best we could.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness…
James 1:2-3

And then came Thursday.

Thursday morning started off much as the mornings of the past three weeks had: get up, stumble around Lo’s crowded room getting ready, shower, grab a granola bar for lunch and breakfast and head out to catch the bus for the nearest coffee shop to read the Word, pray, write, blog, and design. Unfortunately, just after I’d left, the house owner decided that she was “at her limit with having guests.” This meant that she had decided to raise our nightly “rent” from $15 per night to $25, and given that we were only just able to pay the original amount, we decided to decline, and “move out.” The only hitch: we hadn’t anywhere to live and were, officially, homeless.

…And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
~James 1:4

Just as we were wondering where exactly we would sleep tonight, Rachel received a job offer from Starbucks, and the manager agreed to write us a job offer letter so we could finally move in. Elated, we retrieved the letter and triumphantly brought it the Reflections staff, who upon examining the letter, promptly told us that they were unable to accept this as proof of employment.  In spite of the fact that we’d provided exactly what they’d asked for, and had to be either notarized or an official job offer letter from the Starbucks HR department.

Starbucks doesn’t give official job offer letters, and each store manager acts as each store’s HR department.

Leaving the Reflections office, we had nowhere else to go, so we camped out in Barnes and Noble for a bit to collect our thoughts and plan our next move. Interestingly, Rachel had received an email from Starbucks corporate welcoming her to the company and guiding her through the tax form process. Surely these must also count as proof of employment, we thought, so we called to inquire about their acceptability. No such luck, the Reflections staff would only accept a notarized letter or an official job offer letter, and we still had nowhere to sleep. Which is when Rachel H, a friend we had made through Lo, offered to let us crash on her air mattress for the night.

And it was so.

The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
~Matthew 25:40

The next morning, 23 days after we arrived, Rachel and I camped out at Starbucks to request yet another letter from her manager. Three hours later, I printed the e-mail we’d received and marched it down to the Reflections office in the hopes that the staff would finally relent and accept that we were indeed able to pay our rent. The girl on duty examined the printout reluctantly, and then informed me that she’d try to get us past the screening and would “let us know” either today or tomorrow. Great, yet another night without anywhere to sleep.

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.
~James 1:12

Finally, 24 days later, Reflections called and informed us that we’d been approved. Even better, we would be receiving a full first month’s rent! Not once during this time did we go hungry, and not once did we go without a place to sleep. We currently have some $10 to our name, but are trusting in Him to provide. There’s no use worrying about money, the future, or even where we’re going to sleep. Our Father knows we need these things. Let us continue to do what we know to be right in His eyes, no matter our situation or frustration or how much it seems that He’s not providing. Our God is faithful, and He is a God who provides what we need each and every day, no more, no less.

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
~Matthew 6:24-34

What’s that you ask? How is it different? The people here are nicer and more laid back, kinder, cultured, and so very needy. Not that I can really speak, having only been here a matter of hours, but what I’ve seen already  is certainly overwhelming. Underneath the culture, open minded conversation, politeness, coffee, and delicious food lies the devastation caused by a thriving sex trade, homelessness, and drugs. It’s amazing here, but the people are hurting.

The weather is fine, and all day it’s been overcast and warm (a balmy 60 degrees that Lo refers to as “cold”). The natives tell me this is the norm, and that I should brace myself for eventually forgetting what the sun looks if I intended to stay. I’m just glad to have outrun the snowstorm rumored to be pounding down on helpless Ohio at this very moment.

As for our journey, it was long and uneventful. Lo met us at the airport and proceeded to give us a crash course/briefing on Portland culture and the differences between East and West coast attitudes. She’s in love with the place, and I don’t blame her. This city is a ruggedly beautiful one, in spite of the overcast skies, and the air is amazingly clear. Rachel and I love being able to breathe, especially after the crushing suffocation of Yueyang and Beijing. Being able to breathe is always a plus.

Certainly not a thing to be taken for granted.

Not wanting to waste any time, Rachel and I accompanied Lo to Starbucks (her workplace) and proceeded to spend the next hour and a half getting totally frustrated and frightened by the seeming impossibility of the task before us. Although we arrived with $1000 plus in our savings and Rachel might have a job interview tomorrow, our actual spending power is pitifully small in the face of rent, furnishing an apartment, and paying for transportation. Finally, just as we began to wonder if we really were called to get a two bedroom (how could we do so if He wasn’t going to provide anything?), we found something. An apartment complex near to Lo’s Starbucks offered a free month’s rent to anyone who saw an apartment and signed a lease within 24 hours.

We were psyched, and praying that the application would go through in spite of our limited finances, we hopped on the Max train, found the complex, toured the apartment (which we absolutely loved) and filled out the paperwork. Then, with our mission accomplished, we walked to a Mexican restaurant and ate the cheapest, most delicious Mexican cuisine we’ve had in weeks.

The girl from the apartment complex called, and informed us that we didn’t make enough for our applications to be accepted. We had to have at least one job before they could grant us the apartment. Discouraged, we trudged back to Starbucks, wondering if we were just idiots that had charged off without a plan.

Pray for us friends. We’re a little discouraged, but God is good and He is working. He has not forgotten us. He is encouraging us even in the midst of what seems to be a dark hour. We will rejoice in this hardship, praying that we may bring Him glory in all that we say and do.

We ask only that you pray for us.

“Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.”
~James 5:13-18

 

Defeating an addiction to sex begins with a decision. A decision to truly and genuinely turn from behaviors which not only harm yourself, but have far-reaching consequences that impact how how one relates to others (especially members of the opposite sex), to God, and even to oneself. No one can make this decision but the addict (save for God, and he choses not to force Himself on humans), and no person will be able to ensure the addict upholds the decision once it is made. In short, it’s impossible to force an addict to give up the object of their addiction. One must choose to do so of one’s own free will. Only after this decision has been made to truly turn from sin can any sort of healing begin. This is the nature of addiction.

This decision is known in Christian churches as “repentance,” (the verb form is “to repent“) and Christ said it quite a lot.

If you’re reading in the hope of learning the secret to defeating a pornography or sex addiction, you will not find it here. The truth is, while there are certainly concrete actions one can take in overcoming a sex addiction, the only way one can overcome the power of pornography addiction is by grace, power, and love of Jesus Christ. Without Him, I myself would be left “struggling” against the ever-tightening chains of sex addiction while daily becoming more of a slave to my own lusts. Without Christ, we would all be be completely lost.

This is not to say that I consider myself no longer a sex addict. In the same way that an alcoholic never quite recovers from his alcoholism or a smoker must still fight to abstain from cigarettes, a sex addict must wage a never-ending war against his flesh day in and day out. Although the struggle gets easier with time, the fact remains that as long as I remain in my flesh, I will also remain a sex addict. There is hope however, for through the sacrifice made by Jesus Christ on the cross, I have died with Him to my sinful flesh and now live as a new creation. Through Him, all those who believe and follow Him have become sons of God. (Romans 8:1-17) Through Christ’s sacrifice, we are now free from the bonds of sin and death (Romans 8:2) and called to be perfect and imitators of God, as beloved children. (Matthew 5:48, Ephesians 5:1)

Addictions to sex and pornography are rooted in issues that go much deeper than lusting after a woman or viewing pornography, and conquering such addictions requires the support of not only our wives, but our peers and mentors, and, ultimately, Christ. Anyone who truly seeks to overcome a sex addiction must first genuinely seek Christ, and second seek out a group of Godly men to provide support, accountability, and encouragement. It is also vital to be open and honest with one’s wife or fiance, as a man can neither fight nor heal without the forgiveness, love and support of the one God created to be a helper for him. (Genesis 2:18) Often this honesty is painful for all parties, and, if there has been a great deal of secrecy, can threaten the love, trust, and intimacy of any relationship. This pain, however, is not a sufficient excuse to avoid being honest, as the trust and intimacy built in a relationship with a sex addict is often founded upon the lie that they do not struggle with porn use, lust, sexual obsessions, or masturbation at all. For true intimacy to prevail, true honesty must also prevail.

After seeking Christ, confessing a pornography addiction, and searching out godly support, it’s important to take drastic measures to remove access to pornography and sexual temptation. Christ was very clear on this issue when he said that Christians should gouge out their own eyes and cut off their own hands if they should cause them to sin. (Matthew 5:29-30). So many men today claim to be struggling against lust and porn addiction in their daily lives in spite of the fact that they take no measures to establish safeguards or limit access to pornography and sexual material. A recovering drug addict would not permit him or herself unlimited access to drugs, and a sex addict should likewise remove from their lives (at least for a time) the very object of their addiction. Password-protecting or restricting access to computers, maintaining personal accountability, and employing internet filters (e.g. OpenDNS or Safe Eyes) and accountability software (such as Covenant Eyes and X3watch) are just scratching the surface of the steps a recovering porn addict should be taking to overcome their addiction.

Although many of the steps the addict must take to battle sex addiction are extremely uncomfortable, they are nonetheless necessary if one is to truly and honestly conquer the addiction that plagues the mortal flesh. Many aren’t willing to be honest with their wives, cancel their internet and cable prescriptions, clear out all sexually explicit movies or videos, or even move their personal computer to a public room where they will be less tempted to use pornography once again. Unfortunately, the addict who isn’t willing to sacrifice comfort and the appearance of holiness to be free from their addiction is an addict who will continue to use pornography while lying about that very use to those closest to him. No amount of willpower, determination, or shame will enable an addict to gain victory in an area of addiction. Only by seeking Christ, making the decision to defeat the addiction, bringing that addiction into the light, and taking the necessary steps can an addict truly be free. Anything less is like lying down in the middle of a highway while hoping not to get hit by a semi-truck.

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,

‘Awake, O sleeper,
and arise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.’

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”
~Ephesians 5:1-17

Let it be known that the “Great Firewall of China” is NOT a myth.

The Chinese government, although it has been opening up gradually in the last thirty years, most definitely restricts the content that anyone in the country can view. Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, many news publications and searches for about a hundred political keywords are all blocked by a firewall established by the 30,000+ internet police employed by the government of China.

Luckily for Americans and those who don’t want to be limited by such measures, it can be defeated. The answer is to subscribe to a virtual private network (or VPN) to create an encrypted tunnel to a server that masks the content of your searches (freeing up your data from snooping and filters) and gives you an IP address from the country in which the server is based. Even better, if you happen to choose a sever in the US, this alternate IP address allows to watch Hulu videos like this from anywhere in the world.

Since our arrival here in Yueyang, I’ve been researching various VPNs with the help of start-vpn.com, and I’ve hit upon a fast, decently priced VPN service that I like very much.

As far as pricing goes, the services offered by ibVPN (short for “Invisible Browsing VPN) run as low as $4.95 per month. Considering the prices of comparable VPN services (up to $30 per month) this is very reasonable indeed.

Additionally, ibVPN is rocking in the server department. With four different US servers as well as servers in Canada, the Netherlands, Denmark, Ireland, and the UK, you’re bound to have a connection of decent speed no matter where you are in the world. And, if you simply can’t stand not having a US server (say, for watching Hulu), there are plenty to choose from.

Even better, if you’re lucky you can even win one of the thirty free VPN accounts that ibVPN gives away  every week in a sweepstakes-like package. There are other ways to get a free account as well, if you don’t find yourself among the lucky winners.

There’s only one downside to this service, ibVPN is not at fault. It seems that some people thought it amusing to use the ibVPN service to hide their identity while using Facebook in an abusive manner. Sadly, this mistreatment of the VPN service caused Facebook to block the IP addresses of three of ibVPN’s US servers.

Not a big deal, given ibVPN has so many servers.

In spite of this minor inconvenience, ibVPN is overall a very well priced and speedy VPN service. The security is good, it makes Hulu available overseas, the speed is much better than my previous VPN service, and I can thwart the Great Firewall of China. An excellent service for a great price.

They had predicted it, the national weather watchers with all of their equipment and technology.With many words they explained the high and low pressure fronts that provided clues as to when and where the frozen bits of water would land. The south would receive the most they said, DC and SC would be pummeled with this “February fury”, and would perhaps even have as much as 32 inches of the stuff dumped ever so gracefully onto their streets and the homes and cars that sat unsuspectingly along them.

Fear was the most common reaction, with annoyance close at its heels.

No sooner had the first dire predictions left the mouths of those “weathermen” than people began to stock up on bread, water, and other “essential items”, such as eggs, milk and electric generators. The stores, well supplied only hours before, now failed to cope with the spiking demand for survival items.

After all, 32 inches was a fair bit of snow, and who knew if the world might suffer some unforeseen apocalypse soon after. The weathermen were only human after all.

Schools were closed, the teachers and superintendents that kept them secretly rejoicing at this unexpected break in the daily routine as they ran off to buy survival items of their own. Students simultaneously breathed a sigh of relief as they realized the assignment they had worked on feverishly through the night was no longer due in three hours, and they might actually have an uninterrupted nap. Those unlucky enough to still have classes drearily trudged to school, hoping against hope that the authorities might recognize their plight and at least cancel the classes that remained.

All across the country people called off work, cancelled meetings, postponed events and generally took full advantage of the white precipitation that fell from the sky. All the while wondering how it was some people–those in more arid parts of the world–lived without the stuff that was really more of a blessing than a curse, although everyone pretended it was the other way round.

And in Bowling Green, John Michael Buckingham thanked his Creator for disrupting the world and giving him and his friends a much-needed interruption from life. It wasn’t that he wished for his day to be cancelled, he was prepared and ready to see through the plans he had made, but he certainly welcomed a day of rest and rejuvenation.

“God is merciful,” he thought to himself. “I hope we have another snow day tomorrow.”

“We make our own plans, but the LORD decides where we will go.”

Proverbs 16:9 (Contemporary English Version)

^“14Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming.¹⁵Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. ¹⁶From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

¹⁷So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking.¹⁸They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. ¹⁹Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.

²⁰You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. ²¹Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. ²²You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

Ephesians 4:14-24